Thursday, November 11, 2010

Well, we just passed the one year mark. While I love and miss my husband, Im thankful this year is behind us and Im so glad that we have a God who is our Healer. Most people probably think the night my husband passed was the hardest day for me, but it wasn't. The hardest day was actually the next morning when I had to -gut wrenchingly- tell each one of my sons that their dad was gone. What it must have been like for them, that he was just physically gone from them... I really don't want to go there. The hardest part of this is feeling sad for their loss BUT GOD ( my two favorite words ), say's He is a Father to the Fatherless and Im holding on to that. The first year pretty much sucks- just sayin it like it is! The pain and sorrow roll over you like waves with no warning. You feel so desperate, praying you'll be able to make it through the moment. It reminds me of getting knocked over by a big wave in the ocean and your so scared and desperate to get to get your head above water and right when you do another wave knocks you down again. We were singing this song at cottonwood on sunday and we kept singing -Hosanna in the highest, let our King be lifted up, Hosanna. I never really knew what Hosanna meant. I thought it meant we were praising Him and they added- in the highest to make it even greater but I was wrong. I came home and looked it up and I love the picture this one person shared. Originally Hosanna meant " save us, bring salvation to us " sort of like if you were drowning you would call out for help, for someone to save you. But over time the meaning has changed and instead of the picture of drowning and calling out for someone to save you it has become what you would say if you were drowning and saw the person coming in to rescue you- hallelujah, He's here, we're saved! I loved that picture because I feel like it mirrors my life this last year. Just when I thought it would over take me, He would be right there. He is faithful and there is none like Him. So yes- Hosanna in the Highest to Him! He alone is worthy!
I have to say one more thought because part of my life's message now is to encourage you to love your husband. I was reading through some letters my husband had written me and I noticed in more than one that he said- I was the best part of this. He meant I was the best thing in his life here in this foreign territory. It brought to my mind the proverb that says -He who Finds a Wife Finds a Treasure And Receives Favor from the Lord. Don't you love that? We have the ability to be a treasure to our husbands. Unfortunately not all of us are. And ofcourse we aren't going to be all of the time but it's something to aim for. And again, like the pr 31 scripture I find it interesting that our husbands prosperity and favor is linked to us loving them and being their helpmates. I just love that when we are doing what God calls and equips us to do He see's us as treasures. So, does your husband have a treasure in you? :)


  1. Thank you for continuing to encourage us as wives. I soooo need to get back to that place of being a treasure to my husband. He loves me but I know that our lives would be much richer if I would encourage him more and be less antagonistic. Continue with your encouragement - I'll get there :) with love, Patricia

  2. Hi Denise!
    This is Dawn's friend, Yvette. Thank you, it was lovely to read. Hoping you and the kids are doing well.

    Yvette Mojarro