Saturday, December 12, 2009


It's been a really, really tough day today! Frankly, i feel like im walking through the valley of anger today. Im mad, and im mad at God- and it breaks my heart to even say that, but it's how i feel. He knows, so I might as well be honest with anyone who reads this. Really Lord? this is how it's going to be? Really?!!! I can't do this Lord, I can't!!! I can't do this alone, i need him, i need You! I feel like im in a whirl wind. My kids are out of control, they fight and pick on each other all day long! There is only one of me! I want to love them and have joy and come together but dont know how to get that to happen. I feel so sad for them. Ben is just out of control. He is so angry all the time. It's heart breaking. He has no understanding but just tells me he misses daddy and prays he is ok in heaven. I just keep shaking my head in disbelief...this can't be happening to us...this can't be our life!

ps 39 Hear my prayer, O Lord, and give ear to my cry; do not be silent at my tears
And now Lord, for what do i wait? My hope is in Thee.

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