Monday, April 12, 2010
I am blessed
Its been a little over 5 months since my husband went home to heaven. The story of what was happening in our life spread pretty wide by some of my amazing sisters in Christ. The prayers, letters, gifts and phone calls that i received from absolute strangers during the beginning was amazing and the love and encouragement just overwhelmed me. I still have every note and re-read them often. To know that people prayed and still do with tears for us ...there are no words. Some people said that that would end and people would get back to their lives and i guess that has happened some, but even though i dont hear from alot of people anymore i still believe they are praying for us. I remember saying to the Lord in the beginning to help me not to rely on anyone to carry me through this but Him. It can only be Him- He is our Healer. I have to say though that i feel exceptionally blessed. I have recieved some gifts from some home schooling families and stay at home moms -someone even offered to share their home with us. I noticed that they make a point to say their gift is small, but it blesses me even more because i know as a stay at home mom you had to sacrifice to give us that and you probably cut something from your own grocery bill just to send us that $10. or $15. There is no small gift. Its beautiful to me, that people give to us like that. I have some amazing ( that word doesnt even do them justice! ) sisters who i know are on this journey with us for the long haul. I love them more than i could ever express and dont know what id do without them! I am part of an awesome homeschool group whose support is invaluable to me. These are women who may not know what to say, but they will hug me or just sit and listen to me if i need to talk. There is one lady who whether i share good news with her or im sad she just grabs me, squeezes me tight and loves on me. I have a sister who i sent a text to the other day because i recieved a letter from the bank and i was afraid and she sent me back jer 1:19- read it, its awesome! And then maybe 15 minutes later she and her husband called me and prayed for me over the phone. Who does these things? I had a bad dream the other night and i woke up beyond sad and for probably an hour i was laying there worrying about our life, how are we going to do this, can God really make the way, the boys etc. It was about 6:30am and i got a text from another sister saying exactly what was needed in the moment. She's been sending me text messages just about every morning for months. I usually wake up to them. She just prays and sends me His word. There are times she doesnt even know how much im hurting and the words she sends just wash over me and the pain and sorrow leave and it focuses me back to my Father- who IS able. She told me the other day she loves me like the little sister she always wanted but never had. Seriously, I feel so loved! And thats just some of them. I cant even tell you how rich and blessed i feel. I love you beyond words and will never forget how youve loved us!