Thursday, April 29, 2010

God is so good! Sometimes i am so overjoyed by Him that I feel guilty because I think it's wrong for me to have happiness after losing my love. Although I know that's not true, there still is a part of me that thinks i should be consumed with sorrow. Dont get me wrong, there are days when i am sad, i do miss him constantly and i do feel this awareness that something is missing from me- not just my life, but from me physically as well. I also find myself covering up alot. Like im always wearing a sweater or jacket and constantly feeling the need to hold it closed. I never did that before. It reminds me of the part of the "The Valley Song" by jars of clay when he says:
While we wait for rescue
With our eyes tightly shut
Face to the ground, using our hands
To cover the "fatal cut" --- I never really understood that until now. But i do feel like i am wounded and need to keep it covered maybe while Gods healing me- not too sure. I love that whole song! Im going to have to to put it in my playlist. The rest of it says:
Though the pain is an ocean
Tossing us around, around, around
You have calmed greater waters
Higher mountains have come down
I will sing of Your mercy that leads me THROUGH valleys of sorrow to rivers of joy. I am so amazed at Him! That He has not only the love for me- us- to want to help us but that He has the power to heal even our worst pains and sorrows! And i do believe He heals it. I believe the valley does end and the wound does heal. While im sure i will always love george and miss him, i dont believe we are to just adjust to a new way of living without him. I believe my Father is creating a new beautiful life for us- and quite possibly an even a better one than before! I just believe that's how He is.
Some scriptures i found regarding Him doing "new" things:
Isaiah 40: 31 He gives new strength
isaiah 42:9-10 He declares new things to us before they happen
Isaiah 48:6 He proclaims new hidden things which we have not known
Isaiah 62:2 He gives us a new name
EZ 18:31 He gives us a new heart
Ez 11:19 He gives us a new spirit
Lamentations ( my favorite) His mercy, lovingkindess, and compassions are new every morning
Luke 22:20 He gives us a new covenant in His blood
John 13 He gives us a new commandment
2 Cor 5:17 He gives us a new creation when we become born again in Him
Eph 4:24 he gives us a new self made in His likeness- in righteousness, holiness and truth
And He wraps up His love letter to us with this - Revelation 21:5 And He who sits on the throne said " Behold, I am making all things new." And He said, " Write, for these words are Faithful and True." If He can do all that, im certain He can create something new and beautiful for us! Praise His Beautiful Name!


  1. You are finding your joy and strength in all the right places! I'm glad you're feeling encouraged.


  2. I just wanted to give a name to all the anon posts I just realized I've been not signing a name to. My name is Jennifer, and it's been a very moving experience reading your blog. I hope you won't mind if I find you on Facebook.


  3. Hi Jen. Thanks for letting me know who you are and absolutely look me up on facebook. Denise

  4. I'm very sorry about the loss of your husband.

  5. You cease to amaze me sister! I know its ALL ABOUT Jesus. After everything your going through, even days AFTER George's passing over YOU ENCOURAGED me. When I get off the phone with you I always think two things. #1 "Thank you Lord that she is so in love with You, that she can encourage me. :) and #2 Thank you Lord for her new husband whoever that is (and whenever that is) and thank you for preparing all parties involved (children, inlaws, etc...)

    THANK YOU Denise for making Jesus #1 in your life!