Thursday, April 15, 2010
Last night i took a meal over to a lady who's husband is in the hospital. I mentioned them a few weeks ago. He had what they thought were lesions in his brain and were going in to check it out. Turns out He has a crazy virus that in a compromised immune system causes your white blood cells to destroy your brain. So what they thought was a lesion is really dead brain tissue. To make matters worse, there is no treatment for it. And the one clinical trial has side affects that could be detrimental. It is amazing what a difference a few months makes! Hear me- Dont take your life, your wife, husband, your health, and your time for granted. I am still, regardless of all this i see around me, a believer in Gods promises of a long life and my years filled with good things but God help us- help me- not take these things for granted. As i stood in her kitchen just listening to her heart i could just hear myself having said the exact same words. The realization that we wasted a lot of time being upset over meaningless things and how we didnt really appreciate their being a covering over us. We talked about how we wished we would have complained less and encouraged more- like they did for us. She mentioned how she repented to him at his bedside and i shared with her how i got on my knees and washed my husbands feet with tears apologizing for being out of order and putting the kids and other things before him. I know this may sound redundant to you but i find very interesting that we experienced the same thing. It must just be what happens when you face death, you start evaluating how youre really living your life. And then you pray for time to love them the way you really want to now. But i dont think you have to go down a road like this to love like that. That's why i keep repeating it over and over again. Dont have regrets. Dont waste time. Make the choice to love absolutely unconditionally without any thought of getting anything out of it for you- especially when the person youre loving isnt doing what you want or isnt treating you necessarily good. It takes a lot of foot work but it also takes a huge amount of energy to live with irritation and strife. And like Jesus said- if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even the world does that. But Jesus in luke ch 6:27 says...But i say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you... Isnt it interesting that he qualifies it to those who hear? I mean surely everyone around him had ears that worked right? They werent all deaf. So we can have ears but not hear. I think we're only hearers if take what we hear and do it. I remember praying for george once and the Lord just kinda saying to me- well do really care about him and whats best for him? or do you just want him to change because it will help/ benefit you in some way? And you know what, when i really prayerfully thought about it He was right ( what a surprise hah? ). The underlying of my prayers for my husband were in some way to help or benefit me, not because i was genuinely concerned for his heart and being right with God. It was more to make him right with me or what i thought was right for him. So ill say it again, dont waste time. Tonight when you get in bed with your husband or wife- be thankful for them. Your life may not be perfect, no one's is. But think about the wife of that man who is in the hospital who for now and maybe for the rest of her life has to get in her bed alone. Its one of the hardest things to get use to, looking over and that side of the bed is cold and empty. I at least ( and thankfully ) had all my boys to fill the bed. But now theyre all back in their beds and it is strange. The night hours are the hardest. When youre alone and the business of the day settles, your mind just starts spinning and you seem more vulnerable and fear, saddness and what if's come and thats where she's at facing decisions you never want to have to make for someone you love. I know because i was there too. The only- yet best- comfort i could give her was the testimony of Gods amazing faithfulness to me and the assurance that He is and will continue to be that for all them. He is our Refuge, our Strong tower, our Shield, our Rock, our ever present help, our Comforter- our Dad. Praise His Holy Name! Please pray for this family.