Monday, May 24, 2010

Its been pretty busy for me lately. I had a nice birthday and just felt really loved and blessed with what i do have- which is quite a bit! Last summer we spent a few days with friends up in Big Bear. It was right at the beginning of George getting sick. We had a great time. Well for my birthday one of those friends is buying us a night up there this summer. And i was sharing with another friend how different it will be for me to drive there because George would have driven for me. I never traveled any distance without him. I was wishing i had a sea doo to take up but didnt know if i could do the drive with a trailer behind me. The point of all this friends response (who i loooove- since she'll probably see this :) said well, think of how empowering that would be for me to do all that by myself. While im sure she meant that to encourage me, but i dont want to be empowered! And of course there's nothing wrong with women doing those things on their own, but i dont want to be self sufficient like that. I liked needing my husband and i like that he needed me for things too. I liked taking care of him. I liked getting his clothes out, making his plate for him, serving him his favorite coffees. Some women would say those are things a mom would do and they should do that for themselves, but i dont agree. Atleast not for me. I believe men were created to be our protectors, a covering of strength over us. And we - according to the scripture- were created to be their help mate. And did you know that the word helpmate is used 19 times in the scripture n relation to the Holy Spirit being our helper- it's the same word. Now im certainly not saying anyone should go do the job of the Holy Spirit in your husbands life.But in case you feel your job is not an important, it's actually just as important as that of the Holy Spirits. I like the verse in proverbs 31- the heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. Can the heart of your husband trust you? Or has he just quitely backed down to doing things your way to keep the peace? And look at the promise that comes with them being able to trust us---they will have no lack of gain. We have some influence in their lives. I remember the first time the Lord showed me that verse- i cried. And i called my husband crying afraid to even ask him if his heart trusted in me because i knew the answer. This isnt a verse about being faithful. Its a verse about them being able to trust us with their heart thoughts, their ideas. Trusting that we wont put them down. It's about us supporting them, encourageing them,standing by them, being their soft place to land at the end of a day of being out in this crazy world. For those of us who are blessed to stay home, we should be extra appreciative. I would not want to have to work outside of my home and have the world yelling their filth at me all day- no thanks! Dont get me wrong either, im not a wimp, but i loved my husbands strength and i loved that i could be feminine and need a strong man to come to my rescue- which he definately did on more than one occasion. There was something else i wanted to write about but im out of time. I just want to end with this. I- again- love when God speaks to us and that it doesnt matter that i was in the shower when it happened tonight. I was thinking to myself how i hate even the thought of being single and" on the market. " And the Lord said to me in this strong voice- you are NOT on the market. And i knew immediately that He meant that He IS my husband and that i am not available- not that im even considering that right now. But I love that and then i just kind of chuckled and said back to Him- well if it does happen he is going to have to be one amazing guy to get Your permission to take Your place.


  1. Denise, thank you for sharing your life with us. I love how you ended the post. "He is going to have to be one amazing guy to get your permission to take your place."

    I love that.

    Psalm 46:10 - I love this verse and would like to share it with you.

    Be still and know that I AM GOD (recognize and understand) I will be exalted among the nations! I will be exalted in the earth!

  2. This came to me from a friend. I may not know you but we are sisters in Christ...sharing the same FATHER. I lost my husband of 18 years almost 5 years ago. I also, am raising my four sons alone YET not alone. I stand on that verse "Father to the fatherless..husband to the widow". I am amazed day by day how much HE loves me. I too, have been terrified to think about (as you so nicely put it) being on the market. I'm just waiting for my prince charming (son of the Most High God) to come to me with HIS Father's permission. When my husband was sick after a few months...a dear friend asked me what I had learned in all of it. My response...that I can be a single mom. The ONLY reasaon I can is because I do it through Christ who strengthens me. I'll be praying for you family. You are younger as your children are (my youngest was 4 when Dad went to be with Jesus and he is now 8). I'll pray for those nights of loneliness that God will meet you there! In HIM Dolly

  3. I know just what you mean. I miss taking care of Michael, and having him take care of me. It was a good partnership.

    I don't think of myself as on the market. A good friend told me I'm still married, my husband just lives in Heaven. I like that idea. If life is long because the Lord delays his return, then I guess I would be open to marrying again. But, if life is short for whatever reason, I don't think I will pursue another relationship. Only time will tell, of course.

    I didn't see you on Sunday night. I was there with a friend, and we enjoyed hearing Bobbie Houston speak.

  4. Amen sister!! I just got done reading a book Created to be his Help Meet. It says everything you have expressed. I know the summer after Jay passed I took the boys on a 2 weeks vacation. We went to Oregon to see my sisters. I was sad to have to be in charge of EVERYTHING!!!! But that summer I learned so much, I learned I could haul a trailer, jump off a houseboat, water ski, drive through the night and sleep in a sleezy motel. I learned that God had provided me with everything I needed to care for four boys... BUT I just didnt like it. I missed the toilet seat up and clothes on the ground, I missed finding change in his pockets and fast food trash in the car... I missed. Yes, I was empowered to do many things but it was more forced. So is the life of a single mom, in order to survive and have limitless fun with boys... we try to do dad things with them.

    I think you should hang with another family in Big Bear!! The lake is extra freeezing this year. Just had snow this past weekend again. We have a cabin up there and if we are not on vacation we would love to hang out with your guys during the day.